Guide to a Greener Blackout

This is a message I got on facebook about The Great Chicago Black Out on this Saturday.

With The Great Chicago Blackout just around 72 hours away here are some tips for more eco-friendly inebriation.DRAFT BEER. A pitcher or pint of your favorite beer might not have the same badge value as a bottle, can or forty—but it makes far less waste when you’re trying to get wasted. If you’re gonna have a few too many, be sure it flows from nice cool keg.BLENDING IS BAD. Consider your favorite concoction on the rocks instead. Any good Mexican will tell you margaritas are meant to be served over ice—not in it. And every year millions of watts of electricity are wasted turning your fine cocktail into a slushy mess. Not to mention the fact blended drinks make you look like an 18-year-old girl on Spring Break in South Padre.THINK GLOBALLY. DRINK LOCALLY. Getting to and from your favorite watering hole shouldn’t require a cab. The closer the bar the easier it is to stumble home. And you’ll be saving gallons of gas every time you go out. Not to mention much needed cash to help make your evening even more exciting.GO AHEAD HOOK UP. While the winter chill is still upon us, save on those rising energy bills by not sleeping alone. See that girl or gal at the end of the bar, they’re body heat is all the electric blanket you might need tonight. Buy ‘em a shot and see what happens. But be safe, the last thing we need are more mouths to feed.JUST SAY NO TO MOJITOS. I can’t really find a green spin on this one. I am just sick of seeing people drinking mojitos. Any bartender will tell you they’re a pain in the ass to make. And any barfly who has had to wait an extra 10 minutes for another round while some douche-tard who thinks he’s in Havana orders this glorified rum and soda will agree. NOTE: If the bar has a special mojito menu they’re fair game.
BREAKING THE SEAL. Don’t do it. I know it’s tough, but we all know what happens when you open the floodgates. If everyone could cut their trips to the can down by one every time they go out that’s approximately 90 million gallons of water saved annually in Chicago alone. Hold it as long as you can. Just be sure not to make an embarrassing puddle your friends, coworkers and complete strangers will be poking fun at for all eternity. You know who I’m talking about.GET READY TO BLACKOUT. The Great Chicago Blackout is this Saturday, March 29th from 8 – 9pm. Grab some friends and go to your favorite place to throw back a few too many. I hear the Relax Lounge is always nice. But any old dive or uber-club will do. Just be sure to shut off your lights and tip the people taking care of you.--------------------